you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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