Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He better not be in your backpack
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
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