so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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