Banned from zoo.
Again?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
