I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
