My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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