Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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