You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Randomize
