the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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