(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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