There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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