Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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