i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
