Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Semen is not good for contacts.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
