Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Randomize
