i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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