Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
