when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
