I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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