The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
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