U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
