He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
