I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
