I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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