there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
