She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I want her autograph on my taint
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
