She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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