it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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