She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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