You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
