Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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