Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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