I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
