i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
