it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
