Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
