OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
