Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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