Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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