the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I think I have vodka in my lungs
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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