We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
