also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
