Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
