i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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