i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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