I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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