Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
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