there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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