Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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