never play flip cup with pint glasses
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
