Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
