do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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