I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
